Birthday jokes

Grandma, is it exciting being 99? It certainly is! If I wasn't 99 I'd be dead.

"Were any famous men born on your birthday?" "No, only little babies."...Read the whole joke

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Man l: "I got my wife a VCP for her birthday" Man 2: "Don't you mean a VCR?" Man 1: "No, a V...Read the whole joke

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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday. How lovely! Yes, but he only did it so ...Read the whole joke

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Why won't anyone eat the dogs birthday cake? Because he always slobbers out the candles!...Read the whole joke

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For his birthday the monster asked for a heavy sweater. So they gave him a sumo wrestler!...Read the whole joke

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"My birthday's coming" Do you know what I need?" "Yeah, but how do you wrap a life?"...Read the whole joke

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Why did the boy put candles on the toilet? He wanted to have a birthday potty!...Read the whole joke

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A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a ceme...Read the whole joke

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What did one candle say to the other? "Don't birthdays burn you up?"...Read the whole joke

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