An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, "Well, my pet chicken, of course!" "I'm sorry," The girl tells him. "We can't allow animals in the cinema." The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it's head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, "Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!" Agnes whispers back, "Oh, don't worry about it...you've seen one, you've seen them all." Madge says, "I KNOW...but this one's eating my POPCORN!!"
Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses? A: Because he didn't want them shitting in...Read the whole joke
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An eighty year old couple decide to try for a child. They visit the doctor who asks the old geez...Read the whole joke
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Q: How is a man like a snowstorm? A: You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get,...Read the whole joke
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Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to them, and points at the ...Read the whole joke
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A truck driver was going down a steep incline when, at the foot of the hill, he was able to make...Read the whole joke
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Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, "You...Read the whole joke
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use th...Read the whole joke
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Q: What does pizza delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? A: Both can smell it but can...Read the whole joke
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Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman ...Read the whole joke
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