Doctor jokes

Is she feeling any better?

|Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?Nurse: No change...Read the whole joke

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Jelly

I was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, "So how?s your breakfast this morning?" "It?s very...Read the whole joke

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Letters from charities

|I am always getting those return address labels from charities wanting money.The other day, I got o...Read the whole joke

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Loud, mad, or sad

|The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test....Read the whole joke

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Low self-esteem

|A guy had been feeling down for so long that he finally decided to seek the aid of a psychiatrist.H...Read the whole joke

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My son swallowed the can opener

|Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be a...Read the whole joke

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My wife is beating me

|David: My wife beats me, doctor.Doctor: Oh dear. How often?David: Every time we play Scrabble!...Read the whole joke

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Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?

|Patient: My hair keeps falling out. What can you give me to keep it in?Doctor: A shoebox....Read the whole joke

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People are ignoring me

|A patient walks into a doctor's office.Patient: Doctor, people ignore me.Doctor: Next!...Read the whole joke

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Pete

Pete was sitting at home one evening when the doorbell rang. He opened the door to see a 6-foot-tall...Read the whole joke

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Preventive medicine belief

|Mary: My daughter believes in preventative medicine, doctor.Doctor: Oh, really?Mary: Yes, she tries...Read the whole joke

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Problems remembering

|Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can't remember anything!Doctor: So, since when ...Read the whole joke

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Professional Courtesy?

A doctor and his wife were sunbathing on a beach when a beautiful young blonde in a tight-fitting bi...Read the whole joke

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Promoting an office

|A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. So much so that he c...Read the whole joke

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Put me into a fighting mood

|Patient: Doctor, what I need is something to stir me up; something to put me in a fighting mood. Di...Read the whole joke

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Scared sleeping

|Shakey went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I thin...Read the whole joke

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Solving a problem

|A guy goes to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I keep having these alternating recurring dreams. First I'm a t...Read the whole joke

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The bad and the worse news

|A man visits the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave look ...Read the whole joke

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The Code of Ethical Behavior for Patients

|1. Do not expect your doctor to share your discomfort.Involvement with the patient's suffering migh...Read the whole joke

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The prison hospital

|Prisoner: Look here, doctor! You've already removed my spleen, tonsils, adenoids, and one of my kid...Read the whole joke

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