Festival jokes

Your New Year Resolution

1 2 3 4 5 [close]

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! Enjoy! :-)10. Read less. 9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. 8. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 7. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. 6. Procrastinate more. 5. Drink. Drink some more. 4. Start being superstitious. 3. Spend more time at work. 2. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. and last but not least...1. Take up a new habit: maybe smoking!

Other Festival jokes

Office Worker Resolution

|RESOLUTION #1: 1999: I will read at least 20 good books a year. 2000: I will read at least 10...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Top Signs That You're Too Old to Trick or Treat ...

|10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for yo...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

New Year Nerd Resolutions

|NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS YOU WON'TBE ABLE TO KEEP IF YOU'RE A NERD 16. I resolve... I resolve to... I r...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Your New Year Resolution

|Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are s...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

New Year Resolutions for Pets

|15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poo...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Do you go to church?

|A friend was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the preacher was standing at the door...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Thanksgiving dinner prepared by kids

|A Thanksgiving Cookbookby Mrs. Geraghty's Kindergarten ClassNOTE: Mrs. Geraghty will not be reponsi...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Things proven to change the course of Thanksgiving

|1. During the middle of the meal, turn to mom and say, "See mom, I told you they wouldn't notice th...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Geek's thanksgiving

|1. Be thankful you haven't been spammed!2. Be thankful your computer isn't down!3. Be thankful your...Read the whole joke

Rating: - Category: Festival

Advertisment

Jokes categories