1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we don't know where the heck she is. 2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again. 3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up. 4. I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing. 5. I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body. 6. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. 7. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. 8. The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier. 9. If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country. 10. I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
Why does a woman close her eyes when she's having sex?Because no woman ever wants to see a man enjoy...Read the whole joke
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Patient: The trouble is, doctor, I keep pulling ugly faces. Doctor: Don't worry, I don't expec...Read the whole joke
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Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one ...Read the whole joke
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My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield When a man brings his wif...Read the whole joke
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Little Herbie had been blind since birth. One day at bedtime, his mother told him that the next day ...Read the whole joke
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The Volunteer Fire Chief in a small town had just been buried. The last words of the service ove...Read the whole joke
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Four nuns are driving to market and get hit by a drunk driver and all four nuns die. They get in lin...Read the whole joke
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Then there's the woman who goes to the dentist.As he leans over to begin working on her, she grabs h...Read the whole joke
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Why do blondes where underwear?To keep their ankles warm....Read the whole joke
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