Stumpy Grider and his Wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair, and every year Stumpy said "Ya know Mahtha, Ah'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane". Every year Martha would say, "Ah know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs". So Stumpy says, "By Jeebers Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old, if I don't go this time I may nevah go".Martha replies, "Stumpy, that theah aihplane ride is ten dollahs...and ten dollahs is ten dollahs".So the pilot overhears them and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal, I'll take you both up for a ride, and if you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE word, I won't charge you, but just one word and it's ten dollars".They agree and up they go... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard; he does it one more time, still nothing... so fair is fair and he lands.He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to make you hollar out, but you didn't!"And Stumpy replies, "Well, Ah was gonna say something when Mahtha theah fell out... but then, ten dollahs IS ten dollahs!"
Q: How many publishers does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Three. One to screw it in and two ...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what hisfuture holds.His Personal Psychic Adv...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
Which dance will a chicken not do ? The foxtrot !...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
Great Reasons To Be A Guy!Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tank...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
Why do they name cyclones after women?Because they start off as little blow jobs and end up taking t...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
"Billy, the Homicidal Smurf." "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home." "Archie, the Abcessed T...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an overstressed person? An Easter bask...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
I thought, Miss Smith, that you wanted yesterday afternoon off because you were seeing your dent...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed
Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. ...Read the whole joke
Rating: - Category: Mixed