An optimist sees the best in the world, while a pessimist sees only the worst. An optimist finds the positive in the negative, and a pessimist can only find the negative in the positive.For example, an avid duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure none of his friends would ever believe him.He decided to try to break the news to a friend of his, a pessimist by nature, and invited him to hunt with him and his new dog.As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. they fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink but instead walked across the water to retrieve the bird, never getting more than his paws wet. This continued all day long; each time a duck fell, the dog walked across the surface of the water to retrieve it.The pessimist watched carefully, saw everything, but did not say a single word.On the drive home the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?""I sure did," responded the pessimist. "Your dog can't swim!"
A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes an...Read the whole joke
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A little old lady had two monkeys for years. One day one of them died of natural causes. In grief, t...Read the whole joke
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Shultz, a lawyer, bribed a man on the jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to t...Read the whole joke
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This couple goes to an agricultural show way out in the countryside a fine Sunday afternoon, and are...Read the whole joke
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A Jewish family invited their Redneck neighbors over for holiday dinner. The first course was set in...Read the whole joke
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This guy goes to the doctor for a checkup, and after some tests, the doctor comes in with a grave lo...Read the whole joke
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The teacher says, "Children, today I will ask each of you to come to the front of the class and use ...Read the whole joke
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